I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
