like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
