Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
