just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i don't like sucking hair
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
