So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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