hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You were trust falling into bushes
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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