Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
