Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
