It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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