We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
