So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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