It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
