No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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