Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish i was in the wii world.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
