somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
