the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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