Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I am naked and annoyed.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
