I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
