so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
