Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
