After last night, I could never be a politician.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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