we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
