Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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