No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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