Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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