You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
