this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
