I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
