Sober January is a disaster.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
