the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
