my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
