One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
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