Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
