we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
