If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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