My first STD was from a foam party
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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