Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
