people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
