she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
