My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
