The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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