Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
