VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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