How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Randomize
