I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
