that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
