I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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