I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
