just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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