sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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