yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
