VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
