did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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