i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
