Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
